This is the powerful Testimony of God’s mercy in Whitney See’s life. She has submitted it to the blog in hopes that you, the reader, may be moved by the power of the Lord. Thanks Whit.
One could say that I was born to become a Christian. I had everything going for me; I had Christian parents, I attended church since before I was born, and I was home schooled so my parents could teach me sound morals and the Bible. In fact by the time I was 4, I had learned all about what God required and the fact that He sent Jesus to die on behalf of my sins. The problem was that mentally I knew this truth, but at the same time it was just knowledge and it never had impacted my heart or changed my life. For the first 15 years of my life I played the good Christian kid because that was what was expected of me, on the inside however, I was dying. My family was composed of broken people who took out their hurts and frustrations out on each other and as a result I was a broken and angry child, who hated life, people, and my family. I started to self injure at around 9 to cope with the pain and at 15 I became so fed up with the hypocrisy I saw in the church and my family that I decided I no longer wanted to follow God. I befriended lesbians and soon joined in on their lifestyle and indulged my flesh. Everything that I did, everything that looked so fun and satisfying, only started to kill me. The more I pursued sex, smoking, shoplifting, and popping pills the more dead and empty I felt. I turned to more intense means of self injury in the hope of feeling anything. Finally I came to a point where I knew that I either killed myself or I dealt with the small voice that knocked at my heart which was calling me to yield to God. At this crossroads I asked God if he could possibly love me after all I had done. In an instant I had my answer, He responded with a YES!!! that resounded in the center of my being and shook me to the core. I said in that moment; Ok, if that’s true then You get all of me. I am no longer my own, from now on I live for You. You just need to get me out of the mess I have got myself into.
That day my life changed dramatically. I instantly had communion with God and for the first time ever I knew I was in relationship with God because of Jesus taking on my sin and dying on the cross. God also did exactly what I asked Him to do; He dealt with and removed the roots of my homosexuality and self injury. No longer am I bound to respond in self-injurious ways be it physically, sexually, or emotionally to pain. Instead I am free to live life with a peace and joy that surpasses any affliction I face as I know my God is with me.